There will never be a definitive guide to excelling at relationships, and truth be told, nobody truly knows what to expect from intimate interactions. Perhaps you’ve experienced the intricacy of various relationship frameworks from a young age through family gatherings, observing your friends and schoolmates, or watching your parents’ behaviors. Although each relationship has many valuable lessons to be learned, romantic synergies are much more complex and can leave you at a crossroads regarding what to do with your significant other.
Before reaching wit’s end with your partner, be aware of what you are contributing to the motley of issues. Relationship problems are almost always a result of shortcomings from both ends. Below are 4 common mistakes to keep in mind whether single, in a relationship or married:
1. Lost trust cannot be restored
Once trust is dissipated, it is near impossible to imagine life as it once was, but it is a manageable process given both individual are willing to put in the work. If you come from the stance that broken trust is irreparable, there is not much growth that can occur. Despite the unbearable weight of grief in the face of strife, forgiveness is paramount in such situations and is something that can gradually be worked upon.
2. Your happiness is their responsibility
Believing that another human being will make you whole and complete is a common fallacy, for we are all whole. To expect that your happiness will be made complete from a source extrinsic to yourself can create all forms of confusion and frustration when your expectations are not met. Every sentient being is responsible for their individual happiness and depending on outside sources to fulfill this need will always leave a wanting that cannot be satisfied until you’re satisfied with yourself.
3. Failing to create quality time
Getting into the steady rhythm of a relationship, particularly after marriage and kids can cultivate a sense of comfort and resignation, which if left unchecked, can rob the relationship’s vitality. Always set aside time for your loved one to do together what you enjoy most and revisit the novelties of the times spent together from the beginning of the relationship.
4. Giving up
Believing that relationships don’t require work and taking the easiest way out at the first sign of trouble stifles any progression and growth. Challenges are inevitable and throwing out a relationship without trying to work on issues is not a solution and only perpetuates more difficulties. Down times are opportunities to learn and as it pertains to each individual and the relationship.